To cling to a Love that we can't comprehend

The past couple days have been both good and bad. I am dealing with things that I don't understand and situations that seem awful.

There is a family in my church (I watch their kiddos) that are currently pretty much waiting for news of two family members death. One is a elderly grandmother, this one is much easier for me to swallow. The harder one is their sister-in-law who is dying of cancer, she's in her early 40s with two younger girls. I dug up an old prayer chain email that had this to say "Ron has always trusted the Lord and this situation is not an exception. Connie trusts Jesus as her Lord, her sin is forgiven and she will go to be with the Lord when she dies, this is cause for praise." I do praise the Lord for this and also pray for this family.

I also am in the midst of not understanding a couple other things. Last night I went with a friend to move her out of her parents house. She prepared me for the worst case scenario, which involved bringing my phone in and writing her address on my hand just in case a 911 call was needed (it was not). I don't understand that kind of anger.

In the middle of not understanding, I praise God for the thing that I understand the least; the righteous for the unrighteous.

Because the sinless savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on him and pardon me.

Faithfulness

So this past week my friend had mentioned that he would be giving a testimony at URC on Sunday. I said I would pray and I did, I prayed that his words were from God not from him and spoke truth about the goodness of the Gospel. It was really ironic when I sat in church and realized that his words were indeed from God and I in fact needed them.

He spoke of his life in the past four years, now I have been blessed to see his life in those past four years in a detail the average person has not. I have watched God grow him from a baby Christian to a solid man of the Lord (to which I praise God). His testimony was a reminder I very much needed that the Lord is faithful. More faithful then we deserve him to be with a faithfulness secured by his word.

The sermon was then about faith (Mark 9:14-29) here are some highlights.

Faith is always focused (fixed on Jesus in the midst of chaos), sometimes small, never self reliant.

It is not the strength of my faith that makes the difference, but the object of my faith (if I believe ice won't break, my belief does not change the strength of the ice itself).

What will it take to get more faith and have it? Prayer!

Bottom line it was good to have the reminder before the sermon even started that the God I have faith in is completely faithful. Thanks Bryce for sharing.

Lord I believe, Help my unbelief.

9-11

I wanted to joint a couple things down so I will remember...

I have one singular memory of the World Trade Center, I was 6 or 7 on a family trip in New York City. When we were driving around one of my parents (I think...someone at least) told me to look up, that we were driving passed one of the tallest buildings in the world, I remember looking up, but not seeing the top of the building. The only other thing I remember from that trip is that a bird pooped on me at the Statue of Liberty...

On September 11, 2001 I was a freshman in high school. I learned about the days events before Mrs. Nolan third hour english class. I both knew it was going to change things (read-it was a big deal) and didn't answer the scope of it at all.

A cleanliness I can't undo

One of my friends dabbles in song writing and guitar playing; he's pretty good. He wrote a song about 2 years ago (I think) and I for the life of me can't remember it (note-I don't have the best memory). I do remember liking it and I do recall one line which is "A cleanliness I can't undo". Referring to the forever righteousness given to The Christian by Jesus Christ's Death. This line has been great for me, it is both a call and a relief.


A call to live like this is true. A call to live, as Paul puts it in Philippians 1:27, in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ, and then again in Ephesians 4:1, to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. Translation, I am clean (through Christ), therefore I strive to live in thoughts, words and deeds like I am.


A relief because I don't, I can't live worthy to that call. But nothing can make me more clean or less clean. I am not earning my salvation or ruining my salvation because nothing can make me better or remove Christ blood in my life. My status before God is secure, I am a redeemed sinner.





A cleanliness I can't undo,
A savior died, myself to kill,
To kill my pride, to kill my sin,
Deserved, did I, the wrath of God,
Absorbed by him who knew no sin,
Blameless to stand before the King,
My soul, for eternity, he owns,
None strong enough to change my end,
Erase, can nothing this promise.

(I wrote that about the using the line of his song as my first line)

Kelly

So a have spend most of the past Sunday and Wednesday evenings hanging out with Kelly and the Gothros. I worked about 5 minutes away from their house at about 7:45am. So the thought was that I could sleep in more...but then I also stayed up later than I would have on my own...talking. Definitely worth it!

I first became friends with Kelly in South Carolina, at my summer project, we both worked in a grocery store called BiLo. Kelly always drove me, although I made her late a couple times and spilled coffee in her car, those were some of my favorite car rides. She worked primarily as "the melon cutting girl" in the produce section and I got loaned to the produce section multiple times. We stacked some fruit and had a green bean war with a co-worker. Good times.

Kelly is a person who very visibly shows me what joy in the Lord looks like in all sorts of circumstances, really talk to her for a minute about the Gospel and you will know what I mean. It has been such an encouragement to me to know this sister. (Not to mention she is the only person I know who play Bananagrams with me at midnight.)

Tuesday she starts her first day being an official teacher, I could not be more excited for her. Have fun lady!

God I praise you for Kelly, what you have done in her life and will continue to do. Thank you for this job which you have so obviously provided. I pray for her tomorrow that her nerves will be calm, ready for her students and for the tomorrows after, that you give her strength. Help her when she grows tired to find purpose in it and to ultimately find rest in you. I pray that she will be able to find a church closer by and I pray that you will bless her with friends closer by that will love her through the Gospel. I pray that you continue to give her joy and will show her clearer everyday your Gospel, the Gospel of you making him who knew no sin, to be sin on the cross, so we could be the righteousness of you, our creator. We love you Sovereign Lord. Amen.

My Justification

I am not justified by the books I read (or don't read)
I am not justified by serving others
I am not justified by how well I love God
I am not justified by my relational status
I am not justified by how well I flee from sin
I am not justified by humans efforts
I am not justified by my prayer life
I am not justified by how well I articulate the Gospel
I am not justified by owning my sin
I am not justified by what I think of myself
I am not justified by what I do
I am not justified by how dead my flesh is
I am not justified by how well I cross boundaries
I am not justified by any works
I am not justified by what people think of me
I am not justified by my vision
I am not justified by memorizing scripture
I am not justified by bibical understanding
I am not justified by how much I have grown
I am not justified by spending time with ladies
I am not justified by how well I own my failures
I am not justified by my heart for missions
I am not justified by my own efforts
I am not justified by knowledge
I am not justified by my attitude
I am not justified by how well I illustrate the Gospel to my roommates
I am not justified by how much time I spend with God
I am not justified by loving hymns
I am not justified by my legacy
I am not justified by the community around me
I am not justified by my GPA
I am not justified by how well I submit to authority
I am not justified by this

I am justified by the blood of Jesus Christ and Him alone

[I wrote this about a year and a half ago, it's a little repetitive by my heart is stubborn. The bottom line it is not who I am or what I do (though both do matter) that justifies me in front of God, But Jesus Christ, who he is, what he did]