Faithful when I saw it not

I was just jokingly thinking how I really should change this blog name to He is faithful always, I trust him very little, because that seems to be the reoccurring theme I write. And this my friends is absolutely no different. God has taught me a ton of things in the past 2 months. My silence has not been the absence of God's work in my life, but the slow process of learning about God's character and seeing my Lord clearer.

I have no idea where to start in this post, so I guess sequential order is best. I was discouraged...see August 29th if you don't believe me! One of the great reasons I was discourage is it was like 2.5 weeks before I was getting married and we did not know where we were going to live and a couple great places I thought were for sures, turned out to be nos...It WAS discouraging. It was also encouraging in the way it let me experience a part of God's character that I was less familiar with...God as a great comforter. God as a comforter is better realized when I am sad, when I cry a lot and call out to the Lord in that. Around the end of August time period I wrote this entry, never finished it, never published it.

In the past couple months the Lord has shown me things, things that I want, but things that are not mine. It's a little bit more than a little frustrating/sad at times. True. It is as if I see things through glass...I can see it, evaluate it, picture myself having it and right when I reach for it I'm block because there is in fact still glass. That's when I hear it, the question that matters..."Do you trust me?" A little bit more than yesterday, but no where close to where I ought.

I think that gives a pretty good idea of where I was.

So Did God give me what I wanted? Nope and at the same time very much so. He did not give me the things "he showed me" that I wanted. He gave me a chance to stand by my husband and proclaim the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and see it melt frozen hearts. Wow...did you get that?

More about this later.